Samurai Jack Opening - Aku Monologue

Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape-shifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!

Samurai Jack Theme Song Lyrics

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack

Accidents Happen (2009) Final Monologue

You never know what's waiting around the corner.
It could be an accident,
or it might be a wonderful surprise.
Larry, for Instance, announced that he and Katrina were golng steady.
You could have knocked Billy over with a dessert spoon.
Gloria hugged Douglas Post at the funeral.
That was a big dessert spoon moment.
Connie had a ten-pound baby girl named Cassandra Constance Conway-Kelly-wood.
Ray was overjoyed.
And Billy's surprise is yet to come.